“For my lover, returning to his wife” – Anne Sexton

Descubrí este poema de Anne Sexton hace meses y al escucharla recitarlo rápidamente visualicé la mujer que describe, un tipo de mujer que ella no era ni nunca sería. La esposa frente a la amante. El hogar frente al escondite. La seguridad de la rutina versus lo inesperado del encuentro. A su voz decidí añadirle fragmentos de películas de Super 8 extraídas de Youtube. Se trata de antiguas películas familiares que recogen el ambiente navideño, un mundo de felicidad y armonía en el que el amor y la maternidad conviven entre sonrisas. Pensé que escenas similares a estas son las que Anne Sexton tendría en mente al imaginar el espacio al que estaría regresando su amante. Es un poema del que se desprende una despedida y resulta doloroso este abandono pero, al mismo tiempo, también hay algo en su voz y en sus palabras que sigue firme, orgulloso. “I give you back your heart”.

For my lover, returning to his wife

She is all there. 
She was melted carefully down for you 
and cast up from your childhood, 
cast up from your one hundred favorite aggies. 
She has always been there, my darling. 
She is, in fact, exquisite. 
Fireworks in the dull middle of February 
and as real as a cast-iron pot. 
Let’s face it, I have been momentary. 
A luxury. A bright red sloop in the harbor. 
My hair rising like smoke from the car window. 
Littleneck clams out of season. 
She is more than that. She is your have to have, 
has grown you your practical your tropical growth. 
This is not an experiment. She is all harmony. 
She sees to oars and oarlocks for the dinghy, 
has placed wild flowers at the window at breakfast, 
sat by the potter’s wheel at midday, 
set forth three children under the moon, 
three cherubs drawn by Michelangelo, 
done this with her legs spread out 
in the terrible months in the chapel. 
If you glance up, the children are there 
like delicate balloons resting on the ceiling. 
She has also carried each one down the hall 
after supper, their heads privately bent, 
two legs protesting, person to person, 
her face flushed with a song and their little sleep. 
I give you back your heart. 
I give you permission – 
for the fuse inside her, throbbing 
angrily in the dirt, for the bitch in her 
and the burying of her wound – 
for the burying of her small red wound alive – 
for the pale flickering flare under her ribs, 
for the drunken sailor who waits in her left pulse, 
for the mother’s knee, for the stocking, 
for the garter belt, for the call – 
the curious call 
when you will burrow in arms and breasts 
and tug at the orange ribbon in her hair 
and answer the call, the curious call. 
She is so naked and singular 
She is the sum of yourself and your dream. 
Climb her like a monument, step after step. 
She is solid. 
As for me, I am a watercolor. 
I wash off. 

Anne Sexton

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